Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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