I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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