pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
