Kiss
Puke
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
