Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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