I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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