I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
