The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
