So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
