Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize