The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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