drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
