Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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