He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
