I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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