Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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