I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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