what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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