Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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