my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
