Duck Duck Cougar?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
