see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
