Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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