Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
