Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
