Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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