she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
