i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
