did you get engaged???
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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