dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
