Define "chronic" masturbator.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
