How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize