Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
