Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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