the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
