I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We have started to decorate penises.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
