There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every concussion has its silver lining
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
