Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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