Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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