Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize