does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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