Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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