i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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