I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
