I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
