Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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