You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
