I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
