What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
