We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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