One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
