Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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