She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
