She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
