just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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