I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
